Saturday, 22 October 2011

Like, Ohmigod, it's Gordon Freeman!

As my reader (As I'm reasonably sure that I only have one, unless someone actually finds my rants appealing) may have guessed by the title, I've been playing Half Life. I don't think I've ever heard someone insult the game in any way, actually. In that case, I'm going to have a go.

I'd better mention at this point that I'm currently playing Half Life 2 as it came bundled with the Orange Box, along with Portal, which was a lovely hour's distraction, Team Fortress 2, which has given me yet another thing to scream at like a two year old, and Half Life 2 Episodes 1 and 2, which I've never been too sure about? Okay Valve, what the hell are you playing at? If you are going to milk a cash cow, you slap a 3 and 4 on the end and sell it for fifty quid and then make the community wait years for a number five. Then again, I haven't played a complete game, so my opinion is both uneducated and incomplete. Ah, screw it, I'm gonna make opinions anyway!

From what I could garner as I woke up on a train after having had a nightmare about a square-headed man with some form of skin ailment, my name was Gordon Freeman, my mouth had apparently been glued shit and I was important for some as-yet unexplained reason. I say 'as yet' because I got tired of spending a good hour driving a hovercraft...thing and I haven't reached my supposed friends. To be honest, I'm still not entirely sure why I'm fighting. I understand the entire 'we're evil aliens' thing, but on the whole they just seem to be very Nazi-like, with the occasional human being consumption on the side rather than the extermination motif the Covenant have going on.

I'm guessing that the only reason Gordon is going along with all of this is either out of pure shock and horror due to all the crazy shit that has gone on, or that he has actually lost his mind, blindly agreeing to what others say, not saying a single recognisable word, becoming a cold-blooded killer of hundreds. On that note, isn't he a Nuclear Physicist? A crowbar I can understand, but how does one learn to fully operate guns from the moment you see them. I could be missing out something here, but perhaps I'm looking into this too deeply, probably due to the fact that at the time of writing it's almost 4am. He can absorb spare ammo by standing on it as well.

Please ignore the previous comment labelling it as 4am. It is now 2.40pm, several days after. That's what I quite like about this. You can say "fuck it!" and leave at any time, only to go back when you please. That's all for now.

Deds to TBE Ninja Tiger, for making me realise that the best way to beat an asshole is to ignore him.

My Quote of the Day:

"It's magic, I ain't gotta explain shit!"
-Twilight Sparkle

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